My imagination is not good enough to make this stuff up.

A few couples wanted to get together and go out. So last night we shared a sitter with our friends Kimberly and David and headed out. Before the night started, we needed a shower. When I got in I could see great!  "Hon, you have your glasses on." "Ah, that is why I can see, can you take them off for me, please?" So my husband kindly came back into the bathroom and removed my glasses because my hands were soapy.
There were eight of us, and we headed to a bar that is part of a chain that was voted Best Beer Bar in the City. Now if you like beer, this is the place to go. Brasil has a beer called Chopp (pronounced shope) and is served in 8 or 10 ounce glasses with a lot of head on it and really cold. The waiters bring you a beer and a card that has 100 squares on it. Every time you are done with one, they bring another and put a check in a square. They do not stop bringing the beer. You literally have to say "Nao mais" to get them to stop. We sat there and had some of the best appetizers ever - thin chicken fingers that when translated are call chicken bait - huh?, these beef tips in a mustard and mushroom sauce - holy cow batman that is delicious! and beer, or pop in my case since I am not a beer drinker. I know, I know, I am an alien. Anyway. We had such a great time. We sat there for about 5 hours enjoying ourselves, girls on one side in a square, boys on the other. Interesting things that happened while we were there.
One, there were several couples around us that we wanted to yell "Get a Room!" at. Or "Excuse me, can you not grope your date in public, I am trying to eat." Then there was another table where a girl came in with her date and he had two buddies with him. She got to watch soccer on the telly while the three had a good time chatting. We felt sorry for her. I mean soccer? How much more bored could you get?
Two, one set of friends lived in Argentina for a bit. She relayed a story for us that had me laughing so hard my sides hurt. Apparently in Argentina they have a dessert that is called Alfajor (pronounce j as h). But she asked her husband if he wanted an alfombra dessert (a carpet dessert). His comment was, "Sure, is that on the menu for tonight honey?"
Three, I felt a piece of my hair fall from my clip and I did not put it back, no big deal right? Well a few minutes later my girlfriend on my right looks at me and says very calmly, "Jennifer, you have a REALLY big bug in your hair. I need to get it out." "WHAT!" I swat at my hair and a big bug, an inch long roach to be exact, fell from the outdoor patio umbrella into my hair. Now, I am a girl about bugs. I see this bug and flick my hair while standing up fast and squeaking out a screech and stomp my foot on the bug and rub at my arms and basically freak out. I don't know if anyone looked at me as most were busy playing tonsil tennis, but EEEWWWW! Yuck! And of course my husband was so sweet and kept reaching over and touching my ear or hair and I thought it was a bug each time. Thank you sweetie!

We left there as I said about midnight. Two couples went home and we wanted to check out a live band. So we have the valets get us a taxi. First you really can't find a live band. We could make a lot of money and open a place for live bands. So we get a taxi and ask him to take us to Vila Madalena to find a bar. He drives around the corner and two blocks. Okay, here you are. Umm, we could have walked that. So we walk around a bit. It is like South Beach without the beach. Great people watching. We hit a bar called Unha do Gato (Nail of the Cat) where we hear a guy singing and playing the guitar. Let's go in and check it out! First our husbands get frisked. Hmm, great place to go? Then we get inside and us girls have to go to the bathroom. No door, just ribbons as curtains so you can see the sinks and stalls. At least the stall doors went down to the floor. So Kim goes in one, I go into the other and back out real quick. Vomit in the potty. So I wait. While Kim is indisposed a girl comes through the ribbons. Her dress is halter style, leopard print,and falls two inches below her but. Can't really say falls because it is skin tight. Like painted on. And there is a zipper from bottom to top to close this dress. Only she could not zip it all the way up. Of course she is 20 or so, and when the husbands saw here later, their eyes got big. Only redeeming thing about her minus her excellent cleavage? She had tree trunks for legs. So us girls felt better.
So we are standing at the bar because the place is packed wall to wall with 20 somethings, some of them even here needed to get a room, or a mirror. I look around, "I think we are the oldest ones in here." "No there is an older couple over there in the corner." "I think they are the parents of the singer."  Then I look around again, "I am the only girl in here with glasses on. No wait there is one, but she is ugly." Then Kimberly looks around, "I think we are the only ones in here with underwear on." Now that was probably true. Eventually we leave the bar and head up the street. It is about 1:30 at this point. I don't think I have been out till that time in about 12 years. So I am tired. "Let's find a taxi and head home." My husband comments, "Head home, you are so old." And Kimberly returns with, "Leave her alone, she is wearing underwear."

It was a fun and interesting night. Can't wait for the next one!