My imagination is not good enough to make this stuff up.

A few couples wanted to get together and go out. So last night we shared a sitter with our friends Kimberly and David and headed out. Before the night started, we needed a shower. When I got in I could see great!  "Hon, you have your glasses on." "Ah, that is why I can see, can you take them off for me, please?" So my husband kindly came back into the bathroom and removed my glasses because my hands were soapy.
There were eight of us, and we headed to a bar that is part of a chain that was voted Best Beer Bar in the City. Now if you like beer, this is the place to go. Brasil has a beer called Chopp (pronounced shope) and is served in 8 or 10 ounce glasses with a lot of head on it and really cold. The waiters bring you a beer and a card that has 100 squares on it. Every time you are done with one, they bring another and put a check in a square. They do not stop bringing the beer. You literally have to say "Nao mais" to get them to stop. We sat there and had some of the best appetizers ever - thin chicken fingers that when translated are call chicken bait - huh?, these beef tips in a mustard and mushroom sauce - holy cow batman that is delicious! and beer, or pop in my case since I am not a beer drinker. I know, I know, I am an alien. Anyway. We had such a great time. We sat there for about 5 hours enjoying ourselves, girls on one side in a square, boys on the other. Interesting things that happened while we were there.
One, there were several couples around us that we wanted to yell "Get a Room!" at. Or "Excuse me, can you not grope your date in public, I am trying to eat." Then there was another table where a girl came in with her date and he had two buddies with him. She got to watch soccer on the telly while the three had a good time chatting. We felt sorry for her. I mean soccer? How much more bored could you get?
Two, one set of friends lived in Argentina for a bit. She relayed a story for us that had me laughing so hard my sides hurt. Apparently in Argentina they have a dessert that is called Alfajor (pronounce j as h). But she asked her husband if he wanted an alfombra dessert (a carpet dessert). His comment was, "Sure, is that on the menu for tonight honey?"
Three, I felt a piece of my hair fall from my clip and I did not put it back, no big deal right? Well a few minutes later my girlfriend on my right looks at me and says very calmly, "Jennifer, you have a REALLY big bug in your hair. I need to get it out." "WHAT!" I swat at my hair and a big bug, an inch long roach to be exact, fell from the outdoor patio umbrella into my hair. Now, I am a girl about bugs. I see this bug and flick my hair while standing up fast and squeaking out a screech and stomp my foot on the bug and rub at my arms and basically freak out. I don't know if anyone looked at me as most were busy playing tonsil tennis, but EEEWWWW! Yuck! And of course my husband was so sweet and kept reaching over and touching my ear or hair and I thought it was a bug each time. Thank you sweetie!

We left there as I said about midnight. Two couples went home and we wanted to check out a live band. So we have the valets get us a taxi. First you really can't find a live band. We could make a lot of money and open a place for live bands. So we get a taxi and ask him to take us to Vila Madalena to find a bar. He drives around the corner and two blocks. Okay, here you are. Umm, we could have walked that. So we walk around a bit. It is like South Beach without the beach. Great people watching. We hit a bar called Unha do Gato (Nail of the Cat) where we hear a guy singing and playing the guitar. Let's go in and check it out! First our husbands get frisked. Hmm, great place to go? Then we get inside and us girls have to go to the bathroom. No door, just ribbons as curtains so you can see the sinks and stalls. At least the stall doors went down to the floor. So Kim goes in one, I go into the other and back out real quick. Vomit in the potty. So I wait. While Kim is indisposed a girl comes through the ribbons. Her dress is halter style, leopard print,and falls two inches below her but. Can't really say falls because it is skin tight. Like painted on. And there is a zipper from bottom to top to close this dress. Only she could not zip it all the way up. Of course she is 20 or so, and when the husbands saw here later, their eyes got big. Only redeeming thing about her minus her excellent cleavage? She had tree trunks for legs. So us girls felt better.
So we are standing at the bar because the place is packed wall to wall with 20 somethings, some of them even here needed to get a room, or a mirror. I look around, "I think we are the oldest ones in here." "No there is an older couple over there in the corner." "I think they are the parents of the singer."  Then I look around again, "I am the only girl in here with glasses on. No wait there is one, but she is ugly." Then Kimberly looks around, "I think we are the only ones in here with underwear on." Now that was probably true. Eventually we leave the bar and head up the street. It is about 1:30 at this point. I don't think I have been out till that time in about 12 years. So I am tired. "Let's find a taxi and head home." My husband comments, "Head home, you are so old." And Kimberly returns with, "Leave her alone, she is wearing underwear."

It was a fun and interesting night. Can't wait for the next one!

We Are Going to the Fair!

Now that means something different in Brasil than it does in the States. In the States, you will find rides and fried foods and games along the midway. Here, it is a food fair. Everyday of the week a different neighborhood has a street fair of fruits, veggies and meats/fish.

See here? You can buy tripe or cow tongue:

Yummo, now aren't you hungry?

I buy chicken, and veggies, and fruits. I bought a very delicious mango and papaya this morning. Very fresh and tasty. I also bought eggs, which throws me off because they are never refrigerated here. I am assuming that is okay since they are not refrigerated inside a chicken either. Unless it is a Minnesota chicken I guess.

This is the fair in the street out front of my friend Kimberly's condo. You met Kimberly in the last blog. We go every Thursday to get our goodies and then have a pastry treat after at the outdoor food booth.

As you can see there are many booths. And all of the food is farm fresh.

Look here is Kimberly again!

We have a granny pull cart that we carry everything in because we end up buying a lot when you add our stuff together. Afterward, we go to her apartment and hang out for a bit. I always seem to leave her place though with my bra and undies in my purse. I can just here my husband - no you pig, get your mind out of the gutter! We end up sitting my her pool and relaxing and talking for a while before I go home. Today I did not bring my bathing suit - which is what I wear instead of my undies, husband dear. So I borrowed one of hers which is too big on her, but just small on me. I really appreciate that by the way, thank you Jesus.

Ricardo calls my time in Brasil a life of leisure. I don't know why he says that. Well, I am off to go read a book on my patio while drinking a glass of wine. TTFN!

Which way do we go, honey?

I have a new friend. Her name is Kimberly. She is awesome. Ricardo says we are two peas in a pod. Maybe that might be why she is so awesome, right? Here is her picture.

 

 See?

 

 

We went to Santa Pizza. It does not look like the North Pole. It looks like the entrance to Pirates of the Caribbean. The atmosphere is wonderful.

 

Kimberly's husband was unfortunately away so we all piled into our Captiva - 3 adults and 4 kids in a car the size of a Ford Escape. (Sorry, whenever I see that word I say it like Dory from Finding Nemo - Es-ca-pe. Way more fun to say it that way). 

 

On the way home we missed the turn we needed to take to get us back to where everybody lives. So what do we do? iPhone was not updating fast enough, we do not have the GPS on at the moment. Oh wait, you follow someone else's directions. That is what we did. Who's directions you might ask? Well those of a 8, 9, and 10 year old - at night, in the dark, in a foreign country.

 

"Darn, I missed the turn."

 

"Hey I know where we are!"

 

"You do?"

"Yeah this is our bus route. You turn here. Follow the road. Now turn left, not this one, that one. Then cut across the road. Go down the hill and it curves to the right. Now go up the hill. Turn right. Follow the road, but not to the right (the road split). Go down the hill again. Now make a sharp left turn. Now a right, but this one not the right at an angle. Make another right, and this is our street."

So we had three little boys navigate for us and got us exactly where we wanted to go. In the dark, and I mean dark with little to no street lights. In a foreign country. And we actually listened to them.

 

 

Going to the Mountains.

I never really understood the song "She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes." Does this mean we are not supposed to wait for her because she will be here when she gets here? Or hey if you are looking for her, she is coming around the mountain. But which side, the right or the left? What if we are looking in the wrong place? And she will be driving six white horses, so if a lady comes by driving black or gray horses that's not her. And what about the man? If she is driving six then the wagon must be pretty big for needing that many horses. So the man should actually be driving, right? Maybe he got lost and didn't want to ask for directions and started to go over the mountain, and then lady kicked him out of the driver's seat and took over.

Or what about the bear that went over the mountain to see what he could see? I doubt any bear would want to travel over a mountain to see pretty much the same thing he saw on the one he was already on. Maybe if there was a pic-a-nic basket on the other side he would, but other than that, I would bet he would just want to stay around his fishing hole and chill.

 

 

Well, we decided to be bears this weekend. We went TO the mountains to see what we could see. The city is called Campos do Jordao, in the northern part of the state. It was a quaint little village with some German type architecture in the downtown area. Really there was not much - a beer brewery, a bunch of restaurants, and shops that sold either chocolate or real estate. Oh and fondue is really popular. And there were dogs roaming around everywhere. Javier said they looked like dogs from Mexico. "Can you explain that please as you have never been to Mexico?" "Well in the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua there were stray dogs everywhere. So maybe they are Mexican dogs that came here." Okay, interesting explanation.

That was pretty much it, but we were glad to get out of the city for two days. We stayed at a bed and breakfast. It is located on a farm thingy with horses, a zip line and activities for the kiddies.

Ricardo did the Zip line, maybe 200 feet in the air?

The boys did an obstacle that was in the air and then rode a small zip line down.

We played putt-putt. And the boys played paint ball.

Boys and I rode the horseys in the morning. That was pretty fun. It was the first time they have every been on a horse!

The road getting there was very interesting. After we ate a fondue dinner in town we drove back in the dark. Okay, think of a scary movie where people are driving down a tree covered road with no lights shining and ground fog everywhere. Ricardo and I were thinking of the Friday the 13th music "chu chu chu chu,ha ha ha ha." Then the road to get to the farm is really rough. I don't think it has been graveled or graded in the last 100 years. And there are ditches along the side, so don't get stuck or you are hoofing it!

We took a picture in the day time. Just imagine driving it with only headlights. It was an adventure!

The night was really, really quiet. It was just us and the horses. It was hard to sleep with no noises that you are used to. But eventually we did and the air was nice and cool so we snuggled down in very comfy beds. We did forget to bring a few things with us though. I had two jammies for Ian, but none for Javier. Then no socks for Ian so he had to wear a pair of mine. Then I did not pack undies for myself. So do I go commando or use my small Brazilian bikini bottoms? Well, if I am riding a horse, I need all the protection I can get, so bikini it is.

We had a great weekend, and we look forward to our next adventure in Brazil. I think we are going to try the beach next time. That way if we forget undies and socks no one will really care.

I wish I may, I wish I might...

We had a realtor once give us great advise. Do not forget to look up or down when viewing a house. You don't want to be surprised by an ugly light fixture later when you move in or yucky floors. Apparently, not many people do this she said. I try to look at least where I am going most of the time, but I realized I rarely look up. I mean people should right? You don't want a piano to fall on your head or anything. I really like looking up at the stars at night though, picking out Orion and the Big and Little Dipper. And I like to see if I can get a glimpse of a satellite tracking the globe. I have seen a few. I wonder if some were Russian satellites and now Vladimir Putin has a picture of me on his wall trying to figure out what that silly American girl was doing outside at night and looking up at his satellite?

Anyway on with the story. The other night I could not sleep. I had a lot of wine to drink, 4 glasses. And for me that is a lot. So I woke up at 3 in the morning. It was really hot in the room, either that or I had gas from the wine. Don't know. So I got up to get a cold glass of water. I was hanging out in my kitchen and looking out the window. I realized that I just saw my first star in Brazil. Literally. I tried to think back. Have I not looked up since I have been here? That is impossible, we are on the 13th floor so I have seen night sky. Then it hit me. Too much light! All of the tall buildings here and all of the activity block the view of the stars. And at three in the morning there wasn't as much. And with school out for the summer, the university across the river was dark. So I got to see a very beautiful sky, clear as a still lake. I do not know what constellations are in the southern hemisphere, but this one was a very pretty design. If it was even a constellation. Though I do miss seeing Orion, I am excited and eager to learn what I can see up in the sky here. Maybe I will even see a satellite. Possibly an Argentine one that is spying on Brazilian Soccer drills?