The Ballroom Blitz

This video is so bizarre. It is from the 70's. Maybe they smoked a little too much something before performing. Very possible.

So some would think living in Sao Paulo, Brazil you would get barraged only with Latin culture. This is not true. Like any metropolis, there are many different cultures and ethnicities residing here. Well last week we got to experience a Scottish Ceili. Talk about fun times! Yes, even in South America you have Scots. And bagpipes. Since I am a big fan of many things Scottish: me good friend Katie to take the number one slot, me other good friend Virginia the gambling seamstress - joke in there Virginia I will explain later, Scotch Whiskey - aged Single Malt Highland of course, shortbread, and Gerard Butler - but only when he is not chewing. He chews like he lives in a frat house. Yuck. Just to name five or this blog would never end. So when a friend explained about the St. Andrews Society Ball I just had to go. Alas, there was no Gerard Butler though.

We went with several friends to this PAR-TAY. I know we weren't the token Americans, but it was close. There was a procession in, many men in kilts (hopefully with underthings, but most likely not as they were true Scots), with bagpipe accompaniment. Then the dancing began. Talk about a big ol' mess. Half the peeps knew what they were doing, mainly the Scots, the rest of us were all over the place. A true ballroom blitz. We were given direction but if you don't know what a promenade is, or any of the other move names, you are not going to do it correctly. Plus you have to change partners multiple times. Yeah, we lost people who didn't want to dance with ignoramuses like ourselves. But we still had bunches of fun.

One of the great parts of the night was all you can drink whiskey. There was a bottle of Chivas Regal on the table in case you were too lazy to get up and go to the bar. Yes, that was me. Now my husband was fine. As a Hispanic, rum is his poison. But moi? Irish or Scotch Whiskey is for me. So much so that I started drinking it when we walked in and finished when we walked out. Forget about drinking water or eating bread to soak up some alcohol, that did not happen. I had me a two fingers full glass of neat Chivas all night. Never got below a finger's worth. So by the time we left, 12:30 because Ricardo was playing golf (invented by the Scots so it was okay to leave early) at 6 am, I was not walking perfectly straight. Now, let me tell you what I was wearing. I had on 3 inch heels that matched a very lovely raspberry colored gown that draped the floor so I tripped a bit if I was not careful. Some said it was pink/hot pink. But since I do not wear pink, it was raspberry sherbert in color. I think I can actually blame the dress instead of the whiskey. So we get into an Uber to go home, just across the river. Easy Peasy. Or should I say easy queasy?

Since it was cold by Brazilian standards (around 16 C/58 F) the windows were up and the A/C was not on. We did ask for A/C and we got a pittance of air. It did not help. Luckily we had to go only a 10 minute ride. Then I made the mistake of closing my eyes. Bad move Jen! We got to our condo complex. There were 4 cars in line for the visitor entrance. Since we were in an Uber we could not go through the resident line. I had to get out. There was no way I could take the car any more. I did not want to ruin my dress or the floorboards. It is a 10 minute hike up a steep, steep hill or a 5 minute wait. I chose the hike. Ricardo thought I was nuts. Well, he still thinks I am nuts, but that is not a new thing. So here we are, Rico in a suit, me in a gown entering the pedestrian entrance. Ricardo thinks the guards took pictures. Point one, we were fancified; point 2, me not walking straight; point 3, I kept on dropping my purse. But amazingly enough a steep hill is easier to walk in heels even if you are zigzagging it.

We made it home, Ricardo made it to golf. And we are ready for next year. I will be better prepared though. A shorter dress and some water in between. Can't wait!

Roxanne

Hello everybody! I know you have been waiting with baited breath for my next installment. Don't lie. Well we are in our apartment. We arrived two weeks ago and so far so good, minus the elephants upstairs. I have a drummer and a trumpet player in the house. I will get my revenge!

So you are probs wondering why I picked Roxanne by The Police. Yes, I know what the song is about. And no, fortunately/unfortunately, I will not be telling you about an experience with peeps of the night. Yes, I use peeps instead of women because how do you know they are women? There is a street by the Johnson & Johnson building where you can find entertainment. However, you cannot tell gender. And some of those dudes look pretty amazing. If your husbands suddenly have to come to SP to work with J&J it is not my fault.

Yes, so far so good. Minus one thing. Our things. Where are they? It has been six weeks since they were packed. Our sea shipment left on time and arrived in Santos where it will sit until the Customs Inspector strike is over and they can go through our boxes. Yes, there is a strike. Surprise, surprise. Please note my sarcasm here. I have had friends say, "Well no problem Jen your air shipment was very thorough." Yes it was. I have been through Brazil before so I knew to pack it to the limit. Well. That was just shipped this week! So. I don't get annoyed at many things: auto correct that changes your word to something completely different, or when auto correct does not add the apostrophe to contractions, or the fact that it can't auto spell apostrophe for me and I have to look it up on Google. Just to name inane things. My boys will say there are a few more, but I digress.

So shipped this week? Yes. One was sitting in the US and one in Switzerland for over six weeks! SIX WEEKS! And I cannot get an answer as to why. If they sent them on time, like last month, it would have gone through customs before the strike. So now I have to wait until the strike is over to get everything. Basically, I will be waiting a minimum of 12 weeks from arrival here for everything. We have been told everything will arrive at the same time. Why did I g to so much trouble and stress to divide everything if you are just gonna screw with me!!!!!!!!! ARGH! Yes, said like Charlie Brown. Even Ricardo is mad. He sent a very stern email. Not usual for him. Mostly he tells me to calm down and deal. (And he is usually right. But if you tell him that I will say you are lying.) Well he is not dealing either because it is kinda ridiculous. Especially not getting a good answer as to why.

Still not understanding the Roxanne angle Jen! Okay. So, our shipments could not have any medications or liquids of any kind. I understand the meds. But liquids, shoot! I get why, spillage and all. However, I am a hoarder of shampoos and soaps and lotions. Ask and friends will tell you I have the Armageddon closet for food and sundries. I have teen boys! Food closet is a must to survive the week. But with the sundries I am basically screwed. I have two boys heading to a school for the first time ever without uniforms. I have a husband who has to go to work. So suitcase space was very premium. Mine was filled with the closet and then afterthought with clothes. Now are you getting it? Yes, armageddonit Jen.

Sing with me, "Rooooooxanne, you do have to wear that dress tonight..." well actually you do. Because you could only fit 5 tank tops, 3 t-shirts, 3 jeans, one jammy, and 2 dresses in your suitcase with 4 pairs of shoes. That dress will be worn down to holes if you are not careful. Choose wisely Roxy! Choose wisely!

Turn the page

You don't expect to turn then page and end up right back at the beginning, but that is what we did. We are back in Brazil and it feels like home, the smelly marginal and all.

So when I got here back in 2010, I forgot to bring my hair dryer. I put it in the air shipment. But the moving company said it would only take a week to get our stuff. Well, a month later that was true. So without a hair dryer, I improvised. I pulled my clothes dryer away from the wall and laid down behind it and dried my hair. A little dusty, but it worked. Now in 2016? I know better. But, I don't have a clothes dryer. Turn the page and come full circle! We are in a hotel until our apartment is ready the beginning of next month. So that means laundry service. However, I am not paying anyone $4 to wash a pair of socks or undies, no matter how nicely it is packaged. I'm too cheap for that. So wash in the bathtub it is! After the maid comes of course, because I don't want to look cheap. Or crazy. So a few pieces a day. I should catch up by the end of the month, right? But without a dryer what can I use? That's right! My hair dryer!Works very nicely I might add. Socks fit right over the top, undies dry quickly. Easy peasy. Though t-shirts and shorts take a bit longer. I will not do jeans though. I have a limit. Those and hubby's work clothes go to the cleaners. I am not THAT insane. Usually.

Yes, Brazil feels like home. We love it here. Although I have started answering people in French. That is so not going to work. Too many languages in me brain! This morning I asked if I could bring a plate up to my child in the room and it was part Portuguese and part French. Sounded good, but hey, I got my point across. Yes, I have a sick child. Why would I not? Full circle again. We were sick when we arrived in Switzerland too. But this time my husband coughed on him. Yes, I am going to blame him. First, the oldest had the tummy flu in Switzerland. That smelled just as good as the river here does. Then husband comes back from traveling the world with a cold and fever. Then we arrive here and I get it, but I think it was from exhaustion more than anything. Now the last one to get it is my second. Of course he misses school today. Why not? Add more work on top of him tomorrow. Which he WILL be better. No jinxing it peeps!!!!!!

We are easing ourselves back in. We are remembering that buses rule the road here and they will cut you off by mere inches if they feel so inclined. That traffic is insane and you can turn right from the left lane. That waiters are shocked that you want more than one cup of american-sized coffee. That pineapple here tastes amazing and so does the papaya, though it still smells like feet. The papaya not the pineapple. That hooking up with old friends is a pleasure, even while still missing your Swiss ones like missing a piece of your heart.

So onward, turn the page, and let's start a new chapter...