Travelling within South America is an interesting experience. We have been fortunate enough to fly several times. However, our Peru trip was the first to travel within South America from Brazil. None of what I write is an exaggeration. Not even this story.
So we get to the airport to catch our flight. Oh thank you LAN for cancelling the plane. We could have gotten American Airlines miles because you are a partner and it is a really long flight - 5 hours. But noooo, you move us to TAM who does not give us miles. Oh and we almost don't have seats either. Yes, thank you.
Now we got second row behind first class (row 6) for most of the flights. Also, I got aisle every flight as well. You would think that I would appreciate this, and I would if it was a US flight. But no. First of all, on the first flight out of Brazil the lady sitting in bulkhead (first row) who does not have a place to put her bags yells at me in Portuguese that I need to move my bag so she would have a place for her stuff under her seat. I have no idea what she is saying so I call for my husband's assistance. He comes to my defense and they proceed to argue back and forth about the placement of her bags. We won of course. Second, I have never in my life have had so many butts and fronts shoved in my face or rubbed along my shoulder while people were walking down a plane aisle. EXCUSE ME! I am sitting here. You can respect my personal space and get your fat butt out of it! Oh yes, and thank you old guy on the plane back to Brazil for passing gas RIGHT in my face! That was lovely. I hope you enjoyed your beans for lunch.
You would think that would be the end of it right? Well no. Why would it be the end? It is just getting good! On one flight I gave my youngest the aisle thinking that he is short in the seat and would not have the same butt problem that I did. No, they just leaned in more because there was more room. Sorry baby! Oh and let us not forget the guy who was in a rush to get off and opened the overhead bin to get his bags; not take care to move someone else's computer bag out of his way; allow it to fall on my son's head; look over at my crying child, because really it was a laptop computer after all, and turn around; all without apologizing. Now the guy whose bag it was felt really bad about it and checked on us. But the other guy? Nope, which is why I said something derogatory really loud about rude people who do not apologize.
Okay, so we are on our way back to Brazil after an amazing vacation. Oh hey, we got to stand in line 20 minutes before we were told that once again LAN cancelled the flight and we get to go on TAM again out of Lima. Thank you again for the lack of miles! So we get to the counter and it takes another 20 minutes because they did not have seats for us. I booked this 4 months ago. I better have seats. Okay so they find us seats. We each get an aisle, yey, in consecutive rows, two in row 6 (second row again) and two in row 7. Will this turn out well? Hmm. So let's board. We walk onto the plane and there is someone sitting in my seat. I guess the couple did not want the window. There is no way I want it either except for the protection from the butts maybe. However, my son was next to me across the aisle so I politely said, "Excuse me you are in my seat." The response I get was "Okay, okay calm down." Umm, what? I believe I was very polite, with a smile no less. Whatever. So I sit down. "Excuse me is this your purse under the seat?" Thinking she forgot to move it. No. The lady in bulkhead turns around immediately and asks,"Do you have a problem?" Obviously she was ready for an argument. She came to the right place!
"Well your purse is under the seat in my space."
"No I have no where to put my bag. That is my space." She says motioning to her lack of compartments in front of her and basically dismissing me. No way lady! At that my husband comes to my rescue again. "No, that is her space and you need to put your things above you." She holds up her hands like she is warding off a violent person."You do not have to be so rude. Calm down please, I have no space for my things and yadda, yadda, yadda." And she stands up.
"Um ma'am, I was not being impolite to you." And my husband looks like he is ready to punch her from his seated position behind me.
"So are you going to get your purse?" I ask.
"I don't have the problem. You do. You can get it from there if you want it moved." Yeah, I do!
I was ready to say - why because you are too lazy to bend over you b***h and think you are better than other people and should get whatever you want? But I restrained myself. It was not easy let me tell you. I politely picked it up; I handed it to her and smiled. You should be very proud of this because at this point the lady I kicked out of my seat and the meanie are talking about Ricardo and I in Portuguese. I did not catch all of it, and neither did my husband. But I let her know is a subtle way that I could understand two other languages and I was not a rude American. Well maybe the rude part was right because my husband and I proceeded to talk about them and how rude they were, in a tone loud enough for both sets of meanies to hear. We made the French guy next to my youngest laugh. I also wanted to comment to her that I knew how to curse people. I mean my mother cursed me with children just like me, and it worked. How hard could it be right? But instead I wrote a Haiku in her honor. See I can be very polite.
You wanted my space.
You had no place for your bag.
Too bad old biddy!
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