Sharknado

So I haven't written much this year. I have no clue why. I am definitely not too busy. I will get to my backlog. I promise. But first...

My son, Ian, and I share a love for cheesy movies, especially Sharknado. Number 5 recently came out, and we still have not seen it. Total crime of the century! But when I went to go write this blog, this is the only song I could think of that would be perfect - the Sharknado Theme Song. This is in honor of Ian. My Ian. Not Ian Zerling of the movie. And totally pronounced differently!

Since 2012, Ian has been a swimmer. It started at our country club where he caught the bug. He is not the fastest kid in the pool - never has been. However, he swims his best every time. He works hard and gives 110%. I don't have all of his times over the years, but I am impressed every time he hits the water. Like his and his father's favorite team he is a dolphin when he swims. Or should I say shark to go with the song? Anyway, I am so proud of his accomplishments. Also since 2012, I have never missed a race. That is until today. Let me give you some background before you string me up.

Throughout Ian's swim "career" he has had competitions in The States, in Switzerland, and in Brazil. He has had to learn to swim in each of these countries as techniques are a bit different in each. He has also had to learn the language really fast (outside the US of course) in order to do what his coaches and meet officials have asked. It has not always been easy. He has not always understood. And he has been disqualified many times until he figured it out. He has persevered that is for sure. Now in Brazil, he at least has coaches who speak a bit of English or there are school helpers there to translate for the kids. I am not worried about this, though. He has pretty decent Portuguese. When we arrived here I was worried about Ian's sports choices. With Javi it was easy. Jujitsu studios are like Starbucks, one on every corner. But not so with swim schools. And those that are here follow the Brazilian school time schedule, which is different than the international schools'. What would Ian do? Luckily the school the boys attend was developing a swim team! Last year was their first. With a new athletics director 2017 has started so much better. Hence today and me missing the meet.

Why are you missing the meet? Well to be fair, I missed the school meets in Switzerland too. I think there were two. But parents were not invited to those. I was not invited to this one either. But, that is because it is in Santiago, Chile. Yes, my son is in Chile! Without me! So rude of him! Oh parents, by the way, your son has a swim meet. It's in Chile and you can't come. Too bad, so sad. How cool is that, though? My child has had the opportunity to swim in competitions in 4 countries now. The experiences he is getting are remarkable and blow my mind. This meet has kids from around South America - Peru, Ecuador, Argentina, Uruguay, Brazil and Chile. Again, mind blown! So far so good as well. In a group of 20 kids his age he has been coming in 7th in his races so far. We still have a few to go this afternoon and tomorrow. All I can say is I am proud of you baby, and .... Just keep swimming...!

OneRepublic - Something I Need

My husband is the best. He is who I want to spend time doing everything and nothing with. Why is he the best? Well, this is how the conversation last week went....


Babe, I have a surprise for you.

Really what is it?

A surprise. I am having it shipped from the States.

Okay. I need a new phone. Is it a new phone?

No, better than a new phone.

Is it chocolate?

Better than chocolate.

Better than a phone and chocolate? IS IT A PAIR OF SHOES!!!!?

Nope. Better than a phone, better than chocolate, and better than a pair of shoes.

Hmm..... what could it be....

And it is good for you.

NO WAY! YOU DIDN'T! A BOX OF YELLOW BOX CHEERIOS!

No. A case.

This man gets me like no other. How can I not love him to the depths of my being.

The blackfly song

There is a song for everything! I even found one about a black fly. In Brazil they are called bashu.... something. The song is about North Ontario. But we went to Ilha Bela. The song would work there too.

So I wanted to go to Ilha Bela since last time we lived here. We watched, shall we say, a home movie? Sure, that will work. We watched a home movie that was filmed on the island. It looked really pretty. Yes, the island. So after Easter there was another holiday the next weekend. Perfect time to go. I have to say the island is really pretty. sorta. Kind of like the Keys I guess. Very relaxed and laid back. But the beaches are dirty. Well the water. The beaches? Full of sand fleas and black flies. I did not know this when I booked. I do not like bugs.

So we headed out Friday after Easter. It is only 3.5 hours away. It took almost 7 hours to get to our hotel. Next. We had an awesome room! I mean it was really a small house, very nice. The two other couples we went with? Well not so much. Point 3, it rained. A lot. First night, the waiter at the restaurant dropped some glasses and spilled water on my son's feet. Next night, different restaurant but extremely delicious, same kid got a whole bottle of beer AND water spilled down his back. The waitress tripped. He was really great about it actually. She was so embarrassed and apologized left and right. Och, no worries! He did get a free t-shirt out of it since he was soaked. They made a very big deal about it never having been worn. Hmm.... The food took a bit. We joked it was because the cook didn't have a shirt and he was not comfy half naked and cooking.

But we had one gorgeous day at the beach before the rain snuck in. Minus the fleas.

Yes that is a guy on his paddle board with his dog. It was very lovely. But I will never, ever, never go back.

Sand flea bites. Even the bottom of my foot. Because why would you spray the bottom if you are wearing flip flops? Well, because the bugs crawl under them and eat you. Lovely. I counted 30. This was 5 days after. Best pictures I could get. Sorry. We are at 3 weeks maybe? They are just stopping itching. Yes, I used Skin So Soft, the US version of OFF! because it has deet, and citronella cream. Still bitten. But this is not the worst. What was bad was seeing these lovely, and not so lovely, ladies in the brazil teeny weeny bikinis with bites. All. Over. Their. Butts! Yes, imagine a cute girl in a non-existent suit covered in these suckers. Really, no cream ladies? Imagine them also coming back to Sao Paulo and scratching their asses at work. It's funny if you really think about it.

All Night Long (All Night)

There is no other perfect song for Carnival than Lionel Richie's "All Night Long." Because that is what the participants do. They dance All. Night. Long.

What happened to the days when we could go out to TJ's in Gainesville and wait until after 2 am when they let the under 21ers in? We would get there at 1:30 in the morning to get in line and dance until 5, go home to sleep a bit and be ready for lunch and another get together. Ahh the good old days. Now? I want my bed by 10 pm. No late nighters for me anymore. Heck last night I think we fell asleep at 9:30! We are so old. But, my hubby wanted to go to Carnival. We are in Sao Paulo. We did not do this the last time because the boys were really young, and we did not have a sitter. I probably could have found one, but I am neurotic. I would not have had fun because I would have been thinking about them the whole time. Now, I am still neurotic, but they know what to do in emergency situations. I think. Or at least I hope.

So Sao Paulo Carnival. Muito Bom! Wow it was fun! We did the camerote. Which means for an obscene amount of money, or slightly less than obscene, you get to go to a convention center where there is free food and drinks and alcohol. Yes, free buffet of all.

Who wouldn't love that bar! Then they bus you to the sambodromo where there is more free food and drink to watch the parade until 6 am. Then you go back to the convention center for breakfast and off home you go. Did I mention it started at 11 pm? Yes, after me bedtime.

So we got there around 8 or 9, can't remember. Ate like pigs and drank like fish. Wait, do fish drink? Maybe a better term is drink like a camel? I don't know. Then we got on the bus to go to the parade route. And ate and drank more. I can't even describe the people around us. Let's just say we think some were women but weren't sure. They were dressed better than me that's for sure. Better boobs too. So not fair. Anywho, we were having a great time with our buds, enjoying the parade. It is amazing what these samba schools can put together. I will add photos at the end for you to see. Just outstanding. We were right on street level at times, and others we went up top to get a birds-ish eye view. We ended up watching 4 out of 6 schools off and on. Each school was an hour long. These participants have to sing the samba school song and dance over and over for an hour. In these heavy costumes, some of them. I was very impressed. 

I made it until 3 am. Then I fell asleep on a beanbag for about 20 minutes. The position cricked my neck and I must have done something to it because now I have a bulged disc in my cervical spine. Oops! But hey, that is my souvenir! We enjoyed it so much we are planning Rio Carnival next year. Anyone wanna join us?

We left around 4 am, got in a taxi and headed home. The poor taxi driver I think was up all the day before and that night. He was falling asleep while driving us home! Holy smokes that was scary. We, who were exhausted, were trying to keep this old guy awake for the 40 minute ride home. That I did not enjoy. But next year? Rio baby!!!

Drive

It is January, and we are finally getting our driver's licenses. You have like 6 months to get them before it gets bad if you are in an accident. Like pay the world bad. Am I ever going to drive? Not really, I have a driver to take me around and get the boys to and from school. This is really important, because I probably would have killed somebody by now. No, I will only drive on weekends to church or out on the town when my husband has had a few drinks. Also in Brazil, zero tolerance. I like this. People are very responsible here with regards to drinking and driving.

Anyway. Let's go get my license. It is raining. Of course. So I figured not too many people will be at the DMV if it is raining. No. We were wrong. The world is there. Why? Go home people! We get there at 8:30 am to meet our helper. Yes, we have someone to help take us around the DMV and the various tests to make sure we do this right. It is not like the States. Oh no. Get a load of this....

So we are there. My husband has his documents and I have mine. These include a bill with the apartment address, our federal ID card, our federal tax number, our passport, our visa, our US drivers licenses, and birth certificates along with my official marriage license. My husband does not need the ML, I just do. I think there were a few more. It is hard to remember. Now, because the US requires you to renew your license every four years other countries think you have only been driving since the newest start date. Even if you are 40+ years old. My husband renewed last Spring. Less than 8 months valid. Did he keep his old one? No, he had no reason to since it was before we knew about moving to Brazil. Brazil did not like this. He also tossed his old Brazil license. It was expired so he didn't think he would need to keep it. Brazil did not like this either. It would be very bad for a man with my husband's position to not be able to drive. There were many letters and calls back and forth regarding this. I however, kept my old license. Only because I renewed it this summer after I knew we were moving and I needed it until my new one came in. Yes, Brazil wanted to see both.

Okay, so no problem right? We turn in all the documents. Now, moving to Brazil you have to get official notarized documents, then Brazil officially authorizes that they are authentic with a big official stamp on the back. We turn in my authenticated papers with all the official stamps. Why? To get the authenticated papers re-authenticated. Yes, we waited an hour for this. Okay. I am officially re-authenticated! Next step is a health exam at a storefront around the corner, in the rain. Okay, off we trek. Blood pressure, check; mental stability, check?; balance, check; you and your husband been "good" as in "you two been cool with each other", check? You and your husband have issues?, no and why-do-you-care-you-weirdo check. Okay, my husband and I are cool with each other and doing fine in that department thank you for making me uncomfortable just to get a license Mr. Inquirer. Next comes the drivers test. No it is not a street test. It is a matching test. Yes, matching. No you are not matching driving rules, you are matching pictures and patterns. Yes, that is right. First you make hash lines until the tester gives a signal. Then you make a hyphen and go back to hashes. That's done. Next, pick out these 3 different triangles out of all of the lines that cover this sheet, which is covered in triangles. Okay, next are 3 different shaped arrows. Okay, next match the pictures with what is missing from the picture to finish it. Next, what comes next in the pattern. An hour later we are done and passed all tests. Thank the good Lord that is done. Now we go back and turn in our results. Oh and the traffic rules I need to know? No turn on red, ever. No crossing the white line by the pedestrian crossing at a traffic light. If you need to turn right from the left lane just roll down your window, stick your hand out or at least make it visible, wave at the other drivers, turn, beep your horn in thanks.

Why are the test results not automated? That would be too easy. We make our way in the rain back to the DMV. We wait. Get my re-authenticated paperwork back and turn in our results. We wait some more. Then all is kosher. So we wait in line to get our pictures taken. That done we go back to the line so we can pay. We wait 40 minutes in this line. By now it is almost noon. Lunch breaks will start to happen. We are screwed. Finally, we get to the front of the line. But wait, this is Brazil. Old peeps get to jump the line in Brazil. 4, count them 4 old peeps jump in front of us. Because all four are confused on where the other clerk told them to wait. Yes, I am serious. They left the line and stopped at our clerk to ask again. All 4 of them! They should not be driving if they can't get those simple directions down. Come On! Okay. Finally we are done. Please sign this paper so the helper representative can come back and pick up your licenses. When will they be done? 45 days. What???? It is a piece of paper! It is not even laminated or a card or anything. 45 days to get a piece of paper? You can print it out now!

Five hours after we arrive, we leave to wait on the DMV. Five hours.....

So, who's going to drive you home? I will. In approximately 45 days.

Caribbean Queen

Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat! If the goose is me that is. Brazilian food is just too good so dieting it is!

A good way to diet is to book an American Airlines flight for Christmas Day. Why? Because they will move your reservations up by 12 hours. Yes, 12, so that you miss Noche Buena dinner and birthday cake, pa moi, because you have to be at the airport by 11 pm. Whatever. It just meant I could spend Christmas Day with my other sister of the heart, Deniece. She is married to our best friend from high school. Problem is she is a great cook, and she wanted to have ready our typical Christmas dinner. They are Jewish. We eat ham, spiral cut, honey baked to be exact. She never cooked one before, but she did an amazing job. Now they are Jews who eat ham #jewswhoeatham. You are welcome!

We had 24 hours with her and her family. And we enjoyed every drop of it. We missed them as soon as we left. But then. Then we were off to the DR.

I love the Caribbean, though I can never remember if it has two r's or 2 b's. I always go for the wrong one. Every. Single. Time. Why is that? Why can't I remember? Okay, back to the Caribe. My husband is from the Caribbean. I have to keep typing it so I can remember 2 b's. Okay, the Caribbean. God knew what he was doing when he hooked us up. I belong in the tropics. Our philosophy for vacations is... well not just vacations. We strive for this always... Ice in our drinks, not under our feet. Tough to accomplish when living in Minnesota. But, if you don't go out in the winter who cares? Hibernating is good too, just ask bears. And we don't live there at the moment so our philosophy is intact.

So the DR, our first time. It was amazing. So amazing in fact that we are going back again next New Year and conning, I mean bribing, I mean badgering, I mean bringing 3 more families along, including family! YEY!!! But this first time, we just met one set of friends and their girls. Yes, another sister of the heart. I told you I have a few. Plus my heart is big enough to shove a few more in there, no worries. If Heather is my Brit, Deniece is my Apache/Puerto Rican, then Monique is my Dutch sis. I can give the UN a run for its money!

A week with the other pea in my pod on a tropical island, a paradise really. It was easy and relaxing and fun. Breakfast, pool, drinks, pool, lunch, beach, siesta, dinner, entertainment, dancing, sleep. Wash, rinse, repeat. Truly a paradise with no rain in sight. Sorry Heather! Well except for 15 minutes to midnight New Years Eve. Yes, perfect timing. It chucked it down hard. But we kept dancing. Of course it shorted out the lights and music system. You should have seen this system. I think there were 8 plugs going into 3 outlets. It looked like the outlet in A Christmas Story. Ugh I can't share the image. Well google Christmas Story electrical Outlet in images, you will see what I am talking about. But, being the experts in jerry rigging at the time, they had it sorted and up and running with 2 minutes to spare. Good timing guys! Then I think like 30 minutes of awesome fireworks. The resort did it up nice.

I had a blast, and rang in the new year in the best way possible, with friends who are family, a sexy husband whom I love tremendously, and two teenage boys who smiled a few times. It was tough to leave. A few tears were shed, but like I said, we will be back next year!

Blame It On the Rain

So in November my friend came to visit. I have been very lucky to meet several ladies I consider sisters of my heart. In the next few entries you will hear about a few of them. Here is the first.

So Heather is coming to visit. I am so excited! I have so much planned, but we are limited by time and my boys in school. So we need to work around pick up schedules. I could do that! I had her Yorkshire tea ready. We would go to dance class, to the outdoor market. We would go to lunch and see a few parts of the city. And I would take her to the beach for the weekend where we could sit in the sand and have people bring us drinks and food and not have to move an inch. Excellent plan! But what happens to the best laid plans? Yes, they go to shit.

So Heather is British and my friend from Switzerland. It was her first time in my lovely adopted country. What does it do 95% of the time she is here? Rain. Yes the British girl got rain. We went to the pool. Rain. If I even said the word pool, it started to get cloudy and rain. We went to lunch. Rain. We went to the beach for the weekend. Rain. And not just any rain. It was sideways rain with gale force winds. I think we had only two mornings prior to the weekend where it was sunny up until 11 am. Really? Come on!

But her and her husband got to experience the real Brazil in their minimal travels around the city. So we are driving to the beach. This should only take about 1.75 hours. At 2.75 we finally get there. Kinda. So the men car got stuck on the highway. Why? Well, one it was raining. Point 2, it is Brazil, something is bound to happen. Of course it did. What happened you ask? Well they were traveling along no problem when the traffic just stopped. There was an accident. When they finally passed it, the accident was that a tree fell on a car. Yes, you read it correctly. Due to the heavy rains, there was loosened soil. A big tree fell onto a surfer's car. The dudes were fine. Their car was totalled. However, being in the girl car we did not see this. We had to pee, naturally. So we stopped. However, also being in Brazil there is no easy way to get back onto the highway from the rest stop. So we had to go on the business highway. Whatever. But we missed the accident. We did, however, get to see lakes in the middle of the road. Yes, so much rain that lakes formed in the middle of the only highway in and out of the beach area. You go slow you are fine. Or you could go fast and spray the entire population of the beach town with water. I went slow. Heather has a video of getting out of the car at the grocery store with the water mid-calf and flowing free. Plus, it was cold water and rain. Adventure is always around the corner. I believe when we were leaving the beach Heather said she was done with tropical countries and being inside an actual rain forest. It was that much water.

The only real sun came that we had was the two hours before they had to leave. That was it. If she never comes back to Brazil, I'm going to ..... Blame it on the rain, yeah yeah.

See what I did there? Haha!

The Lazy Song

As I sit and drink my coffee while I write this, I reflect over the number of people who have commented that I have not posted anything in a while. I apologize. I have been busy doing absolutely nothing. So what has happened since, what, October? Muito mucho apparently!

So in between my not much of anything, which includes spin class; yoga; sewing club; ladies club functions; mahjong club; boot camp; book club; and a myriad of lunches, you will be bombarded with several things to read.

P.S. There will be a test afterwards.

The Ballroom Blitz

This video is so bizarre. It is from the 70's. Maybe they smoked a little too much something before performing. Very possible.

So some would think living in Sao Paulo, Brazil you would get barraged only with Latin culture. This is not true. Like any metropolis, there are many different cultures and ethnicities residing here. Well last week we got to experience a Scottish Ceili. Talk about fun times! Yes, even in South America you have Scots. And bagpipes. Since I am a big fan of many things Scottish: me good friend Katie to take the number one slot, me other good friend Virginia the gambling seamstress - joke in there Virginia I will explain later, Scotch Whiskey - aged Single Malt Highland of course, shortbread, and Gerard Butler - but only when he is not chewing. He chews like he lives in a frat house. Yuck. Just to name five or this blog would never end. So when a friend explained about the St. Andrews Society Ball I just had to go. Alas, there was no Gerard Butler though.

We went with several friends to this PAR-TAY. I know we weren't the token Americans, but it was close. There was a procession in, many men in kilts (hopefully with underthings, but most likely not as they were true Scots), with bagpipe accompaniment. Then the dancing began. Talk about a big ol' mess. Half the peeps knew what they were doing, mainly the Scots, the rest of us were all over the place. A true ballroom blitz. We were given direction but if you don't know what a promenade is, or any of the other move names, you are not going to do it correctly. Plus you have to change partners multiple times. Yeah, we lost people who didn't want to dance with ignoramuses like ourselves. But we still had bunches of fun.

One of the great parts of the night was all you can drink whiskey. There was a bottle of Chivas Regal on the table in case you were too lazy to get up and go to the bar. Yes, that was me. Now my husband was fine. As a Hispanic, rum is his poison. But moi? Irish or Scotch Whiskey is for me. So much so that I started drinking it when we walked in and finished when we walked out. Forget about drinking water or eating bread to soak up some alcohol, that did not happen. I had me a two fingers full glass of neat Chivas all night. Never got below a finger's worth. So by the time we left, 12:30 because Ricardo was playing golf (invented by the Scots so it was okay to leave early) at 6 am, I was not walking perfectly straight. Now, let me tell you what I was wearing. I had on 3 inch heels that matched a very lovely raspberry colored gown that draped the floor so I tripped a bit if I was not careful. Some said it was pink/hot pink. But since I do not wear pink, it was raspberry sherbert in color. I think I can actually blame the dress instead of the whiskey. So we get into an Uber to go home, just across the river. Easy Peasy. Or should I say easy queasy?

Since it was cold by Brazilian standards (around 16 C/58 F) the windows were up and the A/C was not on. We did ask for A/C and we got a pittance of air. It did not help. Luckily we had to go only a 10 minute ride. Then I made the mistake of closing my eyes. Bad move Jen! We got to our condo complex. There were 4 cars in line for the visitor entrance. Since we were in an Uber we could not go through the resident line. I had to get out. There was no way I could take the car any more. I did not want to ruin my dress or the floorboards. It is a 10 minute hike up a steep, steep hill or a 5 minute wait. I chose the hike. Ricardo thought I was nuts. Well, he still thinks I am nuts, but that is not a new thing. So here we are, Rico in a suit, me in a gown entering the pedestrian entrance. Ricardo thinks the guards took pictures. Point one, we were fancified; point 2, me not walking straight; point 3, I kept on dropping my purse. But amazingly enough a steep hill is easier to walk in heels even if you are zigzagging it.

We made it home, Ricardo made it to golf. And we are ready for next year. I will be better prepared though. A shorter dress and some water in between. Can't wait!

Roxanne

Hello everybody! I know you have been waiting with baited breath for my next installment. Don't lie. Well we are in our apartment. We arrived two weeks ago and so far so good, minus the elephants upstairs. I have a drummer and a trumpet player in the house. I will get my revenge!

So you are probs wondering why I picked Roxanne by The Police. Yes, I know what the song is about. And no, fortunately/unfortunately, I will not be telling you about an experience with peeps of the night. Yes, I use peeps instead of women because how do you know they are women? There is a street by the Johnson & Johnson building where you can find entertainment. However, you cannot tell gender. And some of those dudes look pretty amazing. If your husbands suddenly have to come to SP to work with J&J it is not my fault.

Yes, so far so good. Minus one thing. Our things. Where are they? It has been six weeks since they were packed. Our sea shipment left on time and arrived in Santos where it will sit until the Customs Inspector strike is over and they can go through our boxes. Yes, there is a strike. Surprise, surprise. Please note my sarcasm here. I have had friends say, "Well no problem Jen your air shipment was very thorough." Yes it was. I have been through Brazil before so I knew to pack it to the limit. Well. That was just shipped this week! So. I don't get annoyed at many things: auto correct that changes your word to something completely different, or when auto correct does not add the apostrophe to contractions, or the fact that it can't auto spell apostrophe for me and I have to look it up on Google. Just to name inane things. My boys will say there are a few more, but I digress.

So shipped this week? Yes. One was sitting in the US and one in Switzerland for over six weeks! SIX WEEKS! And I cannot get an answer as to why. If they sent them on time, like last month, it would have gone through customs before the strike. So now I have to wait until the strike is over to get everything. Basically, I will be waiting a minimum of 12 weeks from arrival here for everything. We have been told everything will arrive at the same time. Why did I g to so much trouble and stress to divide everything if you are just gonna screw with me!!!!!!!!! ARGH! Yes, said like Charlie Brown. Even Ricardo is mad. He sent a very stern email. Not usual for him. Mostly he tells me to calm down and deal. (And he is usually right. But if you tell him that I will say you are lying.) Well he is not dealing either because it is kinda ridiculous. Especially not getting a good answer as to why.

Still not understanding the Roxanne angle Jen! Okay. So, our shipments could not have any medications or liquids of any kind. I understand the meds. But liquids, shoot! I get why, spillage and all. However, I am a hoarder of shampoos and soaps and lotions. Ask and friends will tell you I have the Armageddon closet for food and sundries. I have teen boys! Food closet is a must to survive the week. But with the sundries I am basically screwed. I have two boys heading to a school for the first time ever without uniforms. I have a husband who has to go to work. So suitcase space was very premium. Mine was filled with the closet and then afterthought with clothes. Now are you getting it? Yes, armageddonit Jen.

Sing with me, "Rooooooxanne, you do have to wear that dress tonight..." well actually you do. Because you could only fit 5 tank tops, 3 t-shirts, 3 jeans, one jammy, and 2 dresses in your suitcase with 4 pairs of shoes. That dress will be worn down to holes if you are not careful. Choose wisely Roxy! Choose wisely!

Turn the page

You don't expect to turn then page and end up right back at the beginning, but that is what we did. We are back in Brazil and it feels like home, the smelly marginal and all.

So when I got here back in 2010, I forgot to bring my hair dryer. I put it in the air shipment. But the moving company said it would only take a week to get our stuff. Well, a month later that was true. So without a hair dryer, I improvised. I pulled my clothes dryer away from the wall and laid down behind it and dried my hair. A little dusty, but it worked. Now in 2016? I know better. But, I don't have a clothes dryer. Turn the page and come full circle! We are in a hotel until our apartment is ready the beginning of next month. So that means laundry service. However, I am not paying anyone $4 to wash a pair of socks or undies, no matter how nicely it is packaged. I'm too cheap for that. So wash in the bathtub it is! After the maid comes of course, because I don't want to look cheap. Or crazy. So a few pieces a day. I should catch up by the end of the month, right? But without a dryer what can I use? That's right! My hair dryer!Works very nicely I might add. Socks fit right over the top, undies dry quickly. Easy peasy. Though t-shirts and shorts take a bit longer. I will not do jeans though. I have a limit. Those and hubby's work clothes go to the cleaners. I am not THAT insane. Usually.

Yes, Brazil feels like home. We love it here. Although I have started answering people in French. That is so not going to work. Too many languages in me brain! This morning I asked if I could bring a plate up to my child in the room and it was part Portuguese and part French. Sounded good, but hey, I got my point across. Yes, I have a sick child. Why would I not? Full circle again. We were sick when we arrived in Switzerland too. But this time my husband coughed on him. Yes, I am going to blame him. First, the oldest had the tummy flu in Switzerland. That smelled just as good as the river here does. Then husband comes back from traveling the world with a cold and fever. Then we arrive here and I get it, but I think it was from exhaustion more than anything. Now the last one to get it is my second. Of course he misses school today. Why not? Add more work on top of him tomorrow. Which he WILL be better. No jinxing it peeps!!!!!!

We are easing ourselves back in. We are remembering that buses rule the road here and they will cut you off by mere inches if they feel so inclined. That traffic is insane and you can turn right from the left lane. That waiters are shocked that you want more than one cup of american-sized coffee. That pineapple here tastes amazing and so does the papaya, though it still smells like feet. The papaya not the pineapple. That hooking up with old friends is a pleasure, even while still missing your Swiss ones like missing a piece of your heart.

So onward, turn the page, and let's start a new chapter...

Six Weeks Back Home

I was originally going to title my last blog "Being Home Sucks, Mom" because now I have to do housework again and I gained eight pounds. Housework is self explanatory since I no longer have a maid. I do have two boys though who are looking to earn money, so I have not had to do too much. It is a $1 a chore at my house. Of course that is as long as it is completed my way. I still rule the roost! The 8 pounds is really not fair. I will blame it on the type of food and the extra processes it goes through here as compared to Brazil, as well as the less eating of fruit since I cannot find good mangoes and any papaya what so ever. I will not blame it on the amount of food I am eating nor the lack of exercise. By the way, I have become adept in the use of wide belts to hide the muffin top. Oh and I can also blame it on my children. Since they are not in school I have to keep them occupied and not killing each other, thus I cannot exercise. I think those are good excuses. Put the blame on someone else I say!

I really enjoy being back. We are still without our sea shipment, but I was smart enough to pack my hairdryer this time. What is funny is that when I got to Brazil I had to use my clothes dryer to dry my hair until our shipment came. As we were leaving we did not have access to a clothes dryer for a week, and I needed to wash undies and such. So I had to use my hair dryer. Ironic isn't it. I think we have about 2 weeks maybe 3 before we see it. That will make it almost three months. Seems about right. We did have to buy a few new pieces of furniture to outfit our house. It is bigger than the ones we've left, hence the money for chore idea. I do love my new house. I can yell at my children without worrying if I am disturbing neighbors. And when we get our piano, I will not have to monitor the times the boys play. Our youngest is now playing trumpet. He is pretty good at it. He can toot that thing all over the house; I don't care. That makes it easy. The boys start school right after Labor Day. None of us can wait. I will party, I mean pray, when they head off hoping they have a good first day. Autumn is starting; a few trees in the neighborhood are turning. I have not had a real winter in four years. I hope the shivering I will do will help in losing some of the 8 pounds.

Yes, I do enjoy being back in the States. Getting things done is so much easier here. Target and Penney's and Macy's have everything I need. I do miss Brazil though. Yes, I have friends still there. I have tried to keep in touch via Facebook and emails, but until school starts it is not easy. Besides the yummy food and friends I am missing, I really miss the warmth of the culture. I have gotten so used to hugging and kissing everybody every time we meet, that it feels weird now not to do that. I know that if I did that here, I would freak people out, "Why are you touching me?!" Bear with me if it happens to you. I have forgotten a thing or two as well. I really have not driven much in two years. Now I have a car. I have gotten out of the car with the keys still in the ignition and the car running, though in park. Oops, I am no longer in a taxi! Luckily I have remembered to put it in park. Otherwise that would have been bad! Oh and that chore thing I mentioned, I have forgotten to do the laundry. "Why is the laundry on the floor and not washed and folded?" Oops, I need to do that. Shoot.

Now I am off to do some of that laundry, run errands, go to the grocery store, monitor summer reading, iron my husband's work clothes, and wash the car. I think that is all I have on the list today. Yep, so good to be back.

The Last Good-bye...

It has taken me a week to be able to write this. I think I needed that time to re-coop.

Well, we have left Brazil. Our contract ended, and we are going back the the States. My house is packed and gone to the shippers. I hope to see it in about 4 months, though the company thinks it will be here in 6-8 weeks. We will see! Let's see, in the last two weeks I went from a house to an apartment; from the apartment to a hotel; from the hotel to an apartment. We will be in our house next month. So this really does not feel like we are back yet. We are settled but not. It is interesting to feel like you are in a transition period for a month or two.


Our final two weeks in Brazil were filled with "See You Later" parties. I don't like the word goodbye. It is so final, even though I titled this blog with it. So I think we said "see you later" about 10 times. It was very difficult to do. Even now I miss everyone. It doesn't feel like we really left yet. Even though it was an interesting leaving. Unfortunately, my husband had business to complete, so we could not leave together on the same plane. He was heading one place and I was heading to another through JFK. I had nine of the 12 suitcases with me and the kids. That made it interesting. Well let me tell you the whole of it...


In Sao Paulo you need to leave for the airport early, like 4 hours before your flight. This is because the traffic could cause you problems. Sometimes there are accidents, or just major traffic, and you need to account for that. Of course we got to the airport in about an hour. Traffic was bad, but not too bad. So the boys and I have to wait in the airline's club room for two hours before our flight. Yes the club room. We left in style- a very comfy business class! The room was not a problem. The boys got munchies to tide them over and we got to watch very good looking soccer players on the television. Spain against Portugal. I usually root for the team with the cutest players, but it was a wash. They both did. So I rooted for Spain. They won. Yey! Okay, we got to the plane to board. That is when listening skills disappeared. My boys did not want to listen on what seat they had. The flight attendant then brought me a glass of champagne. So I sat by the window and the boys were together in the middle. Bad move. My thought was they could play and have fun. Well. There was a maintenance delay. They did not play and have fun. They argued. So business class got to listen while I tried to rein them in. The flight attendant brought me another glass of champagne. Then I just had to separate them. An hour in the car, two hours in the club room, then 1.5 on the plane waiting for the maintenance crew to finish was just too long for them. Why did they not fix the problem before the flight was supposed to take off? Really people! I was not a happy camper anyway. Did you know that if you are a knitter and leave from Sao Paulo, you can take your knitting needles on board the airplane? That was a shocker to me. I know this because there were two knitters in the two rows in front of me. And yes, they were knitting with wool. Just my luck. Since my boys decided listening wasn't on the agenda, there were no movies allowed to be watched. So they fell asleep and business class was once again quiet. 


In the morning we arrive in JFK an hour after scheduled time. So that left us with 50 minutes to get through passport control, luggage, customs, recheck, and re-board. We were up for the challenge. So I asked for a short line in passport, then got to the luggage carousel and waited. Eight minutes later our luggage came out. Okay, two boys, one mom and 9 bags of luggage. How to do this and get through customs? Okay, mom you take the two giant wheely bags, toss the duffel on top and the computer bag, big boy,take the smaller wheely suitcase and the backpack and the carry-on wheely, little boy, take the other back pack and the two wheely duffels. Okay got it! No there was no skycap available, and I did not have the time to go find one nor the money on hand to get a cart. Okay got through customs. Now to recheck the bags. Great. Got in line; made it to the front; cut my hand on a metal thing sticking out of one of the suitcase handles; bled all over the place till I realized I did this. The agent looked horrified that there was blood on my ticket, then tells us we better hurry because we have to get a train to the next terminal. Great. A very nice gentleman helped point is to the correct train for the next terminal. I thought we were home free. We had 15 minutes to get to the plane. No, not home free. In JFK if you are switching terminals you need to go through security again. Luckily for me we were in first class for our next flight. So we got in the line for the first class security. Only one man in front of us, good. Okay, get the computer out of the back pack, get the carry-ons on the belt, get my shoes off, and wait my turn. Got it. Okay, get everything off the belt, get the computer back in the bag, and forget about putting on the shoes. Take them and run! Leave security area, where is our gate? There, okay boys let's book it! We ran to our gate, we had 10 minutes to spare and we were the last to board. Made it! 


After about 18 hours (we have figured) of sitting, I think my leg muscles atrophied. But, we all made it. We are here now and together. We will adapt to our new living environment soon I hope. Have we said good-bye to Sao Paulo? I think not. We love the city and its country. There is still the World Cup and the Olympics. Besides, we still have friends there. And even if their contracts expire and they move on, we will still be in touch, where ever they are. Last good-bye? No. More like I will see you later...

I Say To-may-toe, You Say To-mo-toe, But It's Really A Persimmon

I love the food in Brazil, especially the fruit. There are so many different varieties of everything. You can buy like 10 different kinds of bananas, 6 different kinds of mangoes, 5 different kinds of oranges. Every week we go to the street market to pick up our fruit and enjoy the bounty. But there are a few that are very confusing at face value.

Take a persimmon for example. Here it is called a Caqui (ka-key). There are a few different kinds, and I like them all. But only when they are not too ripe. It is the James Bond of fruit. (Which means dad, it is a fruit in disguise...) It tastes like a peachy apple with the consistency of a nectarine. But it looks like a tomato. Here is a picture.

See? A tomato; although not very red. If you eat them when they are really ripe they actually have the consistency of a tomato and are not my favorite. Grainy tomato-y pulp that tastes like a peachy apple, it confuses my tastes buds. Plus, I have consistency issues.

See if you can guess this one.

By George, that must be a lime! Actually it is not. But if it was it would be a lime on steroids! This is an orange. Yes, I know it is not orange but green. But trust me, it is an orange. And it makes the best juice you have ever tasted. It is probably the kind of orange that Tropicana buys from Brazil to add it their juices. And it is probably one of the kinds that has the pesticide Carbendazim on it, which is banned in the US, and was found on Brazilian oranges imported to the US in February. But hey, maybe that is why they are so delicious? So far, after two years of drinking fresh squeezed OJ we do not yet have a third arm growing out of our backs. No worries.

I hope I can find fruit I have learned to love back the the States. I will have to search high and low for them, but hopefully I will be successful. Of course, the oranges will be easy...

Learning English in Brazil

I know what you are thinking by the title. What? That does not make any sense. But this blog is in honor of some wonderful people whom we have met here and actually wanted to be our friends.

We do have some very good friends here. They are English, Scottish and Irish. Not Northern Irish, because they are actually British subjects, but Republic Irish. Which cannot be confused with Republicans. Because they are the IRA. Which also should not be confused with the American Republicans who tend to support the NRA. (Interesting that it is only only letter different.) We have learned many things from these good friends, namely that we use the wrong words to describe things.

First of all I would like to educate you on some of the geography we learned. I think this is correct, but is might not be since I had about a 1/5 of Irish in me at the time. That is whiskey, not a leprechaun. Okay, Great Britain is the island that consists of England, Scotland and Wales. The UK is the United Kingdom which is the island of Great Britain and North Ireland. The British Isles is the UK and the Republic of Ireland. That last one is the once I am still confused on, but I am too lazy to Google it at the moment, so go for it.

I have learned some things in conversing with my friends that make me rethink some of the words I use. It is difficult for me now to ask my boys to find their pants. Pants in British English (B.E.) is underwear. Girls are called knickers, where as ours are panties. Which makes more sense where the word panties comes from I guess. If you really want pant pants, they are trousers. I was shopping with my British friend and she was saying that the sweater (jumper in B.E.) is low so she would need a vest under it. I was thinking a vest? But that goes on top of the sweater, not under. What the heck is she talking about? Okay, a vest in B.E. is a tank or a cami. Ah, okay, makes more sense now. But if a Brit wants a vest vest then that is a waistcoat. To me a waistcoat is when you take off your jacket and tie it around your waist. Speaking of waist, a fannie pack gets Brits really rolling. A fannie in B.E. is the female's who-who (the girly parts down below). A fannie is A.E. is your bum. Just think of how funny it is to say you have a wet fannie to a Brit. Oops, forgot to wipe!

What can be even funnier is when your nine year old asks you for a rubber. Since my boys go to a British based school, this has happened. He is really asking for an eraser. If he needs trainers, it is not guys in the gym helping with weights, it is a pair of gym shoes. Now for your husband. If he is pissed, he is not mad at you, he is drunk. If he is tired, he is knackered. If he is taking a waz, he is peeing. If he is taking a wiz, he is taking a quick trip and will be back in a jiff. I know, so confusing since a wiz in A.E. is actually peeing.


Now for some insults. These are the fun ones because you can use them and, unless the insultee has been to the UK or the Isles or has read my blog, he/she will not understand you. From my last blog you know that numpty is a dumb ass. You can also use gobshite, which is Irish for idiot. Pikies or Piker are Irish gypsies and not a good word to be called. A fag is not a derogatory word. It is actually a cigarette. This threw me at first when my friend's husband went out to have a fag. Excuse me ? We don't use that word, it is rude. Oh wait, got it! A minger is a really ugly female. Interesting that the men did not tell us what an unattractive male is called. Hmm, why is that guys?


As for housing, these are really confusing. A block is not a street block, it is an apartment building. Now the movie "Attack The Block" makes more sense because the monsters were not attacking the block but just one building. Got it! A mezzanine is a loft. A loft is an attic. Your garbage is rubbish, and the can to toss it in is a bin. If you want water you draw the tap not the faucet, but I forgot to ask where the beer came from then. Boots are not on your feet but the trunk of your car. And bonnets are not on your head, but are the hoods of cars.


There are several more, but my brain hurts. I am an easily confused person at times. Just think of me while listening to a conversation in B.E. It is horrid!

My Week of Being a Numpty

I actually had no idea what this word meant. My British friend says it a lot, not to me though. At least not to my face. Yet. So I figured I had better look it up. I do not want Inigo Montoya to say to me, "I don think it means whata you thinka it means." So I went to Google to the British slang dictionary. So it means: dummy, idiot, ninny. That kind of thing. Okay so Inigo was right. I thought it meant dumbass. So I am going to Americanize the word and use it as such. I mean when speaking to your husband, is it better to call him a dumbass in front of his children or a numpty? (Of course I would NEVER do this anyway honey. I love you, baby).

So my week as a numpty started really just a few days ago. I went to lunch with said Numpty-sayer. We had a great time. However, in the middle of the lunch I inadvertently insulted another friend of mine. She was speaking about a tutor at school that her one teen has and that this tutor is useless. Unfortunately her younger teen will get this tutor next year. So as a wonderful friend I mention that she does not need to worry because the younger is smart so he will not really need the tutor. See? Numpty! Whoops. I totally did not means to insult the older child, who is pretty smart by the way. So I had to back track on the conversation to make sure she knew that I knew that her older child was not stupid. Like me apparently.

Next day. Thursday I am having a good lunch with great friends. I originally invited them to lunch then switched it for a workout session and a drink afterwards. Well I did not remember this. So all day I am thinking I am going to lunch with these ladies. 2 pm rolls around and I am starving, and this is after a workout session with one of them. They were smart and already ate. So I had a salad, one had just an appetizer thing, and another had an ice cream sundae. She was the smart one! So the check comes and the appetizer girl pays for hers, and then I say to the waiter to split the difference. So my one friend had a $20 sundae and my bill was cheaper than my salad. See? Numpty! Whoops. So I owe her coffee and a muffin on Monday.

Friday. Today. I do not realize that the cloudy day meant rain. Why should I? So we take the kids to the bus stop. Then I drive with my husband to his work because I walk to dance class from there, and it is cheaper than taking a taxi later. So we are driving down the road. There is an accident so the road is partly shut down, due to the dead body under the tarp. Great way to start a Friday. Really. Then we get to hubby's work and I need to tinkle. So I head to the restroom. Of course the seat is wet. But I don't know this till I sit down. Great. Then I head over to a bakery where I sit and have a coffee until time for class. I walk outside. It is raining. Where is my umbrella? At home next to the front door. Numpty! So I am soaked by the time I get to the bakery. I have a nice coffee and toast and sit for a while. Then I head to dance. I have to maneuver through an obstacle course of dog poo, but I get there. Class goes well. Then I have to wait to deliver some water bottles that my Thursday bill-jilted friend sold to someone who lives down by the studio. So an hour later and a few phone calls because he kept on missing the bright orange building and my bright pink jacket, I give him the bottles. But he does not have the money to pay for them. I give them to him anyway. We will deal with that later. All I know is I am starving and it is peak lunch rush. I find a taxi who, by the way, takes the longest route he could come up with to the restaurant where I am meeting friends. First thing I order was a glass of wine.

But wait, shouldn't there be more of numpties? Why yes there is. This is a really nice restaurant. It was picked because everyone is leaving for the summer/winter. Where are my nice clothes to change into from my dance workout outfit? At home. Numpty! So I am in this nice restaurant, there are models in a table two down from us, and everyone at my table is dressed very nice. And then there was me. In my Hollywood bedazzled tank and capri exercise pants. But it was halfway good because it is the kind of pants with the skirt connected. But still. The restaurant had a long hallway towards the back and the bathrooms. I so wanted to walk by the model table with my muffin top hanging out and pretend to have a wedgie. That would be so classic and up scale of me. But I refrained. It was tough though. Why were they there anyway? It was an Italian restaurant, heavy on the pasta. What did they eat? Lettuce?

I am home right now, dressed comfy and relaxed. But the week is not over yet. I am sure there will be more numpties tomorrow.

Rubbing Elbows

It is amazing the people that you meet while you are walking down the street each day. Sorry, had to do that. We have been in Brazil for almost two years now. We have met a lot of fun and interesting people from all over the world. We have friends from England, Scotland, France, The Netherlands. We have an Irish friend as well. She is Republic, not Republican, which means she is from the independent country and not from the IRA. Which believe it or not is confusing to a few people in Britain. We have also met some very nice Brazilians. It is truly fun to learn about different cultures and languages, even if it is English but spoken differently.

Our children go to an international school here in Sao Paulo. We have heard stories that they will be invited on private planes to go skiing in Chile and such. But we were like, no that will never happen...

My youngest son is very outgoing. He makes friends at the drop of a hat. So when he was invited to a birthday party, we thought okay that is great! We were thinking the 4 hour Brazilian party from 7 pm until 11 pm on a school night. Because that actually happens. So I get the call. They will be going to the family's cabin a few hours into the interior. For the weekend. Okay, this is new. Sure no problem my son can go. Then two days before the trip there is a change of plans. Oh, we decided to go to our beach house instead because there is more for the kids to do there. Okay. Hmm, do I go to my cabin in the mountains, or do I go to my beach house? Decisions, decisions....

Next friend comes along. Hey do you and your dad want to go with me and my dad for a father son weekend? That would be great, but we already have plans. We can try a different time. Okay, two months later, can you go now? Well I can but my dad will be out of town. No problem you can go with my dad and me. Okay, where are we going? To our beach house on our island just south of Rio. We will take our plane there and come back the next day. Well that sounds fun! And it was. There was the private beach, the boat to go tubing behind, the walks to take to talk about private stuff that is really important to an tween. Apparently, my child did not have to pick up anything including his clothes. The maids did it. And if he wanted anything to eat, even ice cream during the day, the maids dished it right out. Well that is nice, they brought their maid? No, the maids live there. Well okay!

It has truly been an experience living here. I wonder who we will rub elbows with next?

Desensitized

I was told the other day that my blog entries are getting fewer. This is true actually. I was writing about adventures at least once a week when I moved here. This year, you are lucky to get one a month. Desensitized? Most likely. What I thought was really interesting two years ago, maybe even just one, now, not so much. They are everyday occurrences now. And while my relatives in Germany or my friends in Switzerland get to galavant all over Europe, we are pretty much homebodies. So in an effort to entertain you, I have decided to write today about something I have written many times about, driving.

I know, that topic again? Well it is the most interesting one at the moment. I do have another on the docket (can you believe I actually had to look up the spelling of that word?), but you will have to wait for that. I will need a topic for next week right?

I have friends here that have drivers. I feel very sorry for them. Not because they get to sit back and relax and play with their iPod while someone else lugs them all over creation and back. No, it is because they cannot experience the euphoria of driving in Sao Paulo. They do not get to experience buses from one far lane wanting to turn right, across 4 lanes of traffic. They don't get to be that person who has to stop and wave to others so that they can turn left from the far right lane. No avoiding potholes or missing manhole covers. Sometimes this is all the entertainment you can get in a day.

For example, like today. One son was with friends, one was sick, and my husband is traveling for work. What is mom going to do today after church? Nothing. So the only interesting part of the day was the drive to and from church. Three fun things stand out in my mind for today. One; I was about two minutes out from my complex on the major frontage road when I had to change lanes. The reason? Someone missed their turn and instead of going the long way around, they decided to go in reverse about 100 yards so they could turn right. I and several other cars had to avoid hitting them. Two; I am in line to turn right to get onto the bridge to get onto the highway. There was a car stopped in front of the lanes. He needed to make a u-turn. So he parked his car lengthwise in front of us until our light turned green so he could u-turn. And finally three; I had to slalom on the way home. That is the ski thing right? Where you weave in and out of the flags? Well, instead of flags it was cars. I was driving along and then someone going 20 kph slower than me (I was actually doing the speed limit, they were not) decided he liked my lane better to drive in than his, so he switched in front of me. Thank you! And no, there was no one in his lane in front of him. Just wanted to be in my lane. So weave around him, then there was another, then another. I think since my husband's car is so dirty someone must have written in the hood "Please cut in front of me." That is really the only explanation I can think of.

You see? All of the fun you could have behind the wheel. And to think, some people never get to experience it.

You have to sing this...

It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When we try to explain how we feel
That we still love your city after all that we've done

You won't believe me
All you will see is tourists who came
to Buenos Aires to visit
but, we didn't see anything lame

we had ate yummy steak, we had to make change
Couldn't stop taking many pictures
Looking out of the window, staying out of the rain

So we chose the BA bus
Running around, trying everything new
everything impressed us all
we never expected it to

[Chorus:]

Don't cry for me Argentina
The truth is we spent so much money
All through our fun-filled days
Our mad excursions
we made our purchases
Don't keep my receipt

And as for lost fortune, who's to blame
My husband would say it was me
but I really think it is totally your fault

There was Recolleta
There was the Tango Show at La Vantana
La Boca and Caminito
We love you and hope you love us

Don't cry for me Argentina

[chorus]

Have we said too much?
There's nothing more we can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at us to know
That every word is true

A Little Protein in Your Salad Never Hurts

The other day I was going to lunch with some girlfriends. I am going to call them O and E. O is from out of town, hence the O, and will be moving here this July sometime. Can't wait! And E is an Ex-pat like me, hence the E. So I tell the girls what restaurant we will be meeting at. So I arrive at just before noon, and the restaurant is closed. Which did not worry me, because most do not open till noon. That is until I saw the hole in the wall on the side. No this was a permanent closing. S**T! O does not have a phone that I can call! E's phone is going right to voice mail. What should I do?

Then I saw a taxi at the next corner pointing my way. Okay O was here. Great. So I try to pull away from the spot I am parked in, but there are workers behind me. I have to wait for them to cross the street. By that time the taxi is pulling away. NNNOOO! So I pull away and chase after the taxi. Now, no one really honks their car horn in Sao Paulo. So when I am laying on the horn I would expect the taxi driver to wonder what that noise is. Nope. I am banging on the horn and trying to make him pull over when he FINALLY notices me and pulls off the road. Now I am pretty sure this was my friend, but not 100%. Luckily it was her. She pays the cabbie and gets in my car. Now what? Well E is still not answering her phone so I assumed that she could not cut the meeting she had and was not coming to lunch. Where should we go?

Well I started driving and chatting. I was actually paying attention to the road too, which is unusual for me. I called my husband, yes I was on the phone too. Hey I am a multi-tasker! He gave a reco on where to go. Okay! So I am blocks from the new place, and E calls. "Hey where are you? The restaurant is closed!" Umm, about that. Well come to find out that she kept on pocketing dialing people so she had to shut off her phone. Oops! So we head back to the same street we just came from because E said the restaurant down the street from the closed one was good. So we head back. In lunch hour traffic. It took some time.

The restaurant is named Olea Mozzarella Bar. Yum, sounds Italian. Well not really, but they did have bruschetta! And it was the best I have tasted so far. It is a buffet style restaurant. So what you do is go to the salad bar and then get appetizers, and then go back for lunch. As many times as you want. They had chicken, fillet mignon, snapper. So let's start with a salad. I get field greens, arugula, oh and you point what you want and they make it for you. Nice, don't have to do a thing. Okay, I get my salad with balsamic vinaigrette. And we sit down and talk. And talk, and talk. I am almost done. I have a few leaves still on my plate. I look down. What is floating in my vinaigrette? A grayish looking garden grub. Not a big one, maybe only a half inch long. YUMMO! I hope the vinegar killed it.

So I call over the proprietress. Her explanation: "Oh I am so sorry! You know we are very organic here. No pesticides. It makes the food healthier."

Um okay. But now I am wondering how many grubs I ate. O and E are laughing once the lady leaves. Cracking jokes about how organic my meal is. Did we stay? Yes, they had fillet mignon on the main table! I needed more protein people! Or just to wash the thought of the grub out of my taste buds.

In the end it was a fun lunch with friends, despite the grub. Of course they did not comp anything. Why should they, it was organic! Bonus!

Can't wait for O to arrive so we can do lunch again. And in the meantime, E and I will just have to find more bug salads to eat!